Today is Good Friday.  I always find it difficult to call it "Good" because I know what terrors Christ suffered for me.  It always feels really selfish.  We've tried to do more traditional things beyond the typical Easter basket, bunnies, eggs and such (which by the way goes back to pagan practice).  Every Good Friday we watch the Passion of Christ.... I bawl my eyes out. It's always a good reminder of just a FEW of the details of Christ's suffering for me.  I always think how incredibly unworthy I am for Christ to do all that for just me.  One day while taking communion at church I was thinking about which side I would have been on... those condemning Christ or those mourning, I heard a gentle voice tell me, Jen, I would have died for you if you were the only one on earth... and if you were the only one, you would have driven the nails through my flesh.  I was truly taken aback.  I can't take communion without thinking of that.  Christ died for me.  Christ died for you.  Tonight as I watched the Passion I thought about that day we will stand before Him, our Great Defender.  I thought about those who scourged Him, even Pontius and his questioning of Truth as it stood blatantly before him, I thought about the day they will look into the radiant face of Christ.... or maybe they won't, perhaps all they will see is His feet of burning bronze, because of the shame.  I think about how none of us should be able to look into His face.  How can he declare us innocent?  God truly is the epitome of absolute LOVE.  

After the movie I went on line to see what kinds of things happened in Jerusalem today, specially as we eagerly await His return.  It was sickening to me.  Christians made the journey to walk the streets and pray.... along side of a big carnival with clowns, jugglers, and people dressed as bunnies, and super heroes.  It makes me want to throw up.  It amazes me how we are still scourging Him, laughing at Him, and taking for granted His Ultimate Sacrifice.  I looked up Golgotha, the thought to be crucifixion site.  I found this picture (above).  I'm assuming that the sectioned off part is where they think Christ was crucified.... and right next to it, some sort of satellite.... TV antenna maybe, where we can pick up 200 channels of sex, profanity, immorality, and humanism.  What a visual reminder.  

How good is our God, how unworthy are we.  Forgive us Lord of our forgetfulness, help us to serve you more passionately.  Help me to not sing the song "I will take up my cross", in a cheery upbeat meaningless manner when truly taking up my cross is far more than anything I could ever do.... that's why He took it up for me.  Thank you Lord.  How Great is our God.